God Claims A Precious Jewel

Ruth Bell Graham
June 10, 1920 - June 14, 2007

There was a time that my opinionated, legalistic upbringing would not allow me to show proper respect for Brother Billy or Mrs. Ruth. Fortunately for me the same grace that God showed in raising up this fine couple was applied to my heart. Soon, I began to respect and admire this wonderful man and his godly family. How wise,loving, and tireless this wonderful lady must have been to support the vast ministry that God gave Brother Billy while maintaining a balanced household for their family. I am reminded of Proverbs 31:29-30 which states:

Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Let that sentiment be impressed upon all of us as we reflect on Mrs. Ruth's legacy.

Making Memories Not Regrets

I’m sure that by now you gentlemen out there are probably worn down from all the fatherly advice that seems to come to a head this time of year. I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah this morning and even he commented that it seems like mothers day is for praising mom and that fathers day is for preaching at dad. Well, I’m going to leave the preaching to others for a moment and see if I can share with you some practical and fun ways to invest some time and love into your kids.

Raising children is obviously one of the most difficult endeavors known to mankind. If you do it right it requires love, patience, self-disciple, time, tears, lots of prayers, and lots of money. It doesn’t have to be full of gut wrenching. On the contrary, there are several ways for you to actually enjoy your kids and have fun with them. I remember my dad taking my brother and I fishing when we were young. Sure he had to teach us to be quiet and have patience but we had fun and we got to clean and cook the fish we caught when we got home. There is no rocket science to this. In fact it doesn’t really matter what activity you do as long as you are spending undivided time with your children and letting them know that you love them. If, however, you need some ideas consider the following…

For Dads with daughters:

Have a father/daughter date night - You can go out to eat and see an appropriate movie, go shopping, bowling, or just have a long walk at a nearby lake or park.

Bake Together – I know this may sound silly but hey you get to have fun together and then you get to eat. How cool is that.

Wash the Car – That’s right I said was the car. This activity lets you spend time with your daughter, get a clean car, and make your wife happy to boot. Genius!

For more ideas see this article from focus on the family: A Date With Dad


For Dads with sons:

Get outdoors – There is no better place to transfer manhood and rediscover your own heart than in the wild somewhere. Camping, hiking, fishing, or hunting. It doesn’t matter just get outdoors.

Build something together – Men are natural builders. We got this straight from God who is the master builder. Don’t be in a hurry, or try to be perfect; just have fun and do it together.

Sports – Shoot some hoops, play a round of golf, or just have a foot race. We men like to compete; it’s in our blood. Just be sure that you take it well if you loose and be gracious (at least somewhat) if you win.

For more ideas consider a book entitled The Dangerous Book For Boys recommended by Dr. Al Mohler.

Most of all remember that most older pastor/dads if asked would never regret having spent too much time with their kids. Don't make regrets, make memories.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
- Psalm 103:13 (ESV)

Knowing Your Loves

In this space two weeks ago I mentioned a book that I had been reading by Steve Farrar titled, King Me. I will not use today as an opportunity to do an all out book review, but I did want to mention one of the more profound aspects that I read in this book.
My wife and I are both reading through the book of 1 Samuel right now for our quiet times. This is a great book and loaded with much personal application. Within the first 8 chapters we see one common trait of the men who were the spiritual leaders of Israel; they were terrible fathers.
In the lives of both Samuel and Eli we see that they were men who had very ungodly offspring. The first thought that I have on this is why? How could men who were called to lead God's people in the way they worshipped Him, not lead their families? Farrar makes a keen observation in his book; these two men loved the ministry more than they loved their families.

"God said his (Eli's) most important work was in the home. But he loved the ministry more than he loved the hard work with his sons. He wouldn't deny himself and take up his cross." pg. 66

Now I know that the previous quote specifically mentions Eli, however on the very next page in this book, Farrar makes the case against Samuel. It was actually because Samuel's sons "did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after gain, took bribes and perverted justice" (1 Samuel 8:3 ESV), that Israel demanded a king. Farrar concludes that if Samuel had been more faithful in nurturing his family, Israel wouldn't have ended up in the predicament they would later find themselves in.
Some of you will consider that to be a reach. I would say if that is the case you aren't truly willing to look at where your priorities in ministry lie. Your first call as a minister is to love and disciple your family, even if it costs you your job.
Many people disagree with that statement and that is fine, but their disagreements aren't based on scripture. Their disagreements are based on fear of losing their jobs. When Paul laid out the God given qualifications for being a minister the first practical qualification on the list was how a man led his family.

"He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God's church?" 1 Timothy 3:4-5 ESV

That verse is convicting enough on its own without additional comment. My plea for ministers in particular and fathers in general is that they would love their families as Christ loved the Church. That they would realize that their first love on earth and their priority in life and ministry is to love and disciple their family. When the men leading our churches today accept that challenge and reorder their priorities, the world will take notice and revival will take place.

Accountability: Only The Weak Kneed It!

Today's post is dedicated to one of my personal heroes, Wilber, who normally would be writing today. He is at home watching his two small boys so that his several months pregnant wife could take a much deserved break and go on a little retreat. So between being a good dad and having Internet service provider issues, he is prevented from posting and you are stuck with me.One of the reasons Wilber is my hero apart from his obvious devotion to his wife and family is the fact that tonight after he puts the boys to bed he could be at home resting with the whole house to himself. He would have it made. No wife, no kids, sole possession of the remote control, and peace and quiet. Does Wilber save this time for himself, well he probably could, and there would be nothing wrong with that. What Wilber has chosen to do instead is to have me and a couple of other guy friends over for some fellowship, encouragement and accountability. Yes I said it the dreaded "A-word". .

I know that many of you pastors, seminary students, and amateur theologians out there may think this is a bit pansy. I mean if a man can't even stay out of trouble for a couple of nights while his wife is away he must be in bad shape. Well no not really. It is not that Wilber needs guys to come and hold his hand while his wife is away, its that Wilber needs to set the example of brokenness and humility for the rest of us who depend on his leadership. Now Wilber wouldn't tell you all this stuff and he is probably going to be a little embarrassed that I am making an example of him.

From my view, I think that we could all do with more transparency, humility, and accountability among our pastors, and student ministry leaders. I think the precedent for this is demonstrated by the apostle James when he stated:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
- James 5:16 (ESV)

These words in the Greek give us a picture of believers by mutual agreement acknowledging their weaknesses or sins to one another so that they can pray for one another and have victory. It is a holy and proactive thing to do. It displays a desire to stay close to the Lord by keeping close to each other. It also reflects the practices that Acts 2:42 demonstrates as being necessary for a healthy church community.

Okay I think you all get the drift of what I am trying to say here. However, for those macho men who think they don't need any help. Chew on this chestnut: even Jesus had his twelve.Sure, there are times when you will be called to go on alone but unless God is directing you to do otherwise, make good use of brothers in Christ who will admonish you in love and with God's word to help you on your journey.

You Were Born Into A World At War (Part Two)

"A day may come when the courage of Men fails... when we forsake our friends, and break all bonds of fellowship... but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when all hope comes crashing down, but it is NOT this day! This day, we fight! For all that you hold dear, stand, Men of the West! "
- Aragorn in Return of The King

If ever there was a time when need to hear such a call to arms that time is now. It's disturbing and overwhelming how difficult it is to maintain just a semblance of a godly life in the culture in which we live. There is so much competing for our attention and what makes it even more dangerous is that not all of the options are bad. It takes discipline (something that I lack greatly) to be able to pass over the good and the better for the best. The only means for doing this is to renew your mind and the means for doing that is to do daily spiritual warfare.

Before I share some practical Scriptural helps on doing daily spiritual warfare, let me make it clear what exactly it is that satan is trying to do to you. Satan is a master of understanding human nature. If there were a world class chair for the study of human nature at the most prestigious university in the world it would be held by satan. He knows that to remove your ability to do kingdom work he must first defeat you in the realm of your thoughts. His goal is to find your weaknesses and manipulate them and all the circumstances around you to cause you to agree with him about your situation. In essence what he is doing is stealing your heart. That is why God gave us the warning to...

Keep your heart with all vigilance,for from it flow the springs of life.
- Proverbs 4:23(ESV)

Our heart is the core of our being. It is where are thoughts are birthed that result in actions. Before we are saved it is utterly wicked and wretched (Jer. 17:9). Salvation brings with it a "re-creation" as it were of our hearts making our hearts good (Luke 8:15) and making them the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 4:6). So the battle lines look like this:

Side One (Good)God and all his loyal servants (angels), and believers who have been given a good heart that is inhabited by the Holy Spirit

Side Two: (Evil) satan, the world system that he has temporary dominion over, your flesh, unbelievers, and even some Christian who refuse to obey the Holy Spirit within them and have unwise hearts (Mark 8:33)

How can you survive this war? The solution is easily found but not so easily practiced. You must have a wise heart that is not under the influence of satan or his allies and the only way to have such a transformed heart (Rom. 12:2) is to daily make a spiritual stand for God. This can be done by

1. Pray through Ephesians 6:10-18 daily. Study this passage, memorize it, and commit it to the Lord everyday before you leave home. This should become a sort of mental flossing (I stole that one from Dave Edwards) that removes sinful ideas and negates any subconscious or overt agreements that you have made with satan.

2. Then throughout the day pray scripture and ask the Lord to give you a sensitivity to satans lies and distractions.

This must be done because the consequences of failure are too high. Oh and by the way if your day becomes so hectic that you haven't even given spiritual warfare a thought, chances are you have already been whipped. Don't lose heart though, because God's mercies are renewed everyday and rest assured that the next morning you will get you shot again.

I pray that God will raise up a generation of believers who see the war raging around them and who equip themselves to do battle and keep satan from devouring them, their families and their churches. Let these words of my hero of the faith and namesake Martin Luther be an encouragement to you:

Und wenn die Welt voll Teufel wär’ Und wollt’ uns gar verschlingen, So fürchten wir uns nicht so sehr, Es soll uns doch gelingen. Der Fürst dieser Welt, Wie sau’r er sich stellt, Tut er uns doch nicht, Das macht, er ist gericht’t, Ein Wörtlein kann ihn fällen.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us, We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us: The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him; His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure, One little word shall fell him.

- Ein Feste Burg Ist Unser Gott (A Mighty Fortress Is Our God)
Dr. Martin Luther